


The Boys are Back in Town

by BryceWrites



Series: Broken Measures [9]
Category: Sons of Anarchy, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Twins, Angst, Bikers, Brother-Sister Relationships, Drama, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Apocalypse, Pre-Series, Twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-14
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-04-26 07:49:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4996537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BryceWrites/pseuds/BryceWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last two people on planet Earth that Kelsi expected to see pulling into work was her two brothers, trying to get their bikes fixed. Now, she’s stuck between a motorcycle club and family ties she’d rather leave broken. Talk about a rock and a hard place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tuesday mornings were always slow. So when the alarm clock rang out that it was time for Juice to get to work, he groaned. He hit the alarm clock harder than I knew he needed to, but I also knew a little burst of anger first thing in the morning kept it at bay the rest of the day, so I just scooted back against him. His firm chest pressed against my back, his arms wrapping around me.

“I don’t wanna go to work.” Juice groaned into the pillow behind my head.

“Well, sucks to be you. I don’t have to be in for another two hours.” I told him.

“Call me in sick and we can stay in bed and fuck all day.” Juice growled into my ear, nipping at my lobe and getting me to giggle.

“Nope. You’ve got church today. You know Clay still wants to beat your ass for missing it last time.” I told him with a smile.

Juice groaned. “Fuck. I forgot about church.” He said, rolling over onto his back and away from me.

“How about I go into work with you?” I asked, rolling over onto my other side to kiss his chest.

He just laid there, staring at the ceiling for the longest time before nodding. “I guess that would be okay.”

“Good.” I told him, kissing and biting his exposed nipple before jumping out of bed in fear of the retaliation I knew was coming. I almost made it to the bathroom before his arms snaked around me, yanking me back with a yelp and pinning me against the wall.

His lips covered mine before I had a chance to protest and he pressed tightly against me, working his legs in between my thighs and pressing gently until I broke the kiss with a gasp.

“I offered to stay in bed all day.” He said, kissing the spot between my ear lobe and my jaw before kissing and sucking my neck and collar bone.

I moaned lightly, pushing against his leg, wanting more friction. “You’re… gonna be late for work.”

“Yeah, but now you’re gonna want me all day.” Juice grinned widely, making his way to the bathroom and closing the door.

I gapped at him, still pressed against the wall where he left me. “What a jerk.” I said.

“You didn’t want it. Just remember that!” Juice yelled from inside the bathroom.

“You’ve got two minutes to rub that out before I dump you with cold water.” I called back.

There was a pause, where I couldn’t hear anything from inside the room. “You’re joking.” He challenged.

I raised both eyebrows, heading to the kitchen and grabbing a glass of water. I knew he could hear the facet in the kitchen through the wall of the bathroom. I also knew that no matter how hard you tried to keep the bathroom door closed, it didn’t lock.

“Okay, okay! Two minutes!” He yelled franticly through the wall.

 

* * *

I held closely to Juice as he drove us into Teller-Morrow on his Dyna. He treated the bike damn near as well as he treated me and that was saying something. Juice parked the bike and killed the engine when Tig came wandering over to us.

“Thank God you’re here, Juicy. We got two more Harleys come in and Bobby and Happy went on a run with Clay.” Tig said, looking desperate.

Juice kissed my cheek before bounding after Tig into the garage. I walked the short distance to the office as the phone rang. I sighed, falling into the chair and answering it.

The day was almost over when I heard yelling from inside the bays. Usually, I didn’t bother with it. A disgruntled customer was not something I usually wanted to deal with. The guys would be getting out of church anytime now and I knew the only mechanics in the bay were the ones not part of the club. The guys usually dealt with any angry customers, leaving the regular mechanics to just do their jobs.

I glanced at the clubhouse, seeing the doors shut tight with no movement inside. I sighed. I hated dealing with the complaints. I usually got threatened in the process. But I knew the regular mechanics didn’t usually do this so I popped open the door, leading into the bays. Three of the normal guys were standing near two open doors, between the customers and two Harleys.

I bit back a groan, grabbing a torque wrench off the closest tool box. “Jimmy? You good?”

“Fuckin’ white trash shit don’t want to pay their bill.” He said, barely giving me a glance.

“Tell them they pay the bill or the bikes are ours.” I called back.

“You tell that bitch inside that I’m gonna tear her throat out for threatening to take my bike.” A heavy, gruff voice called and I paused.

That couldn’t… there was no way…

But I had to see for myself. I stomped over to the open bay doors and froze, seeing the last two people I ever thought I’d see again. They froze, the same as I had.

“Kelsi, why don’t you go back in the shop?” Jimmy asked, touching my shoulder.

“You get your fuckin’ filthy ass hands off her!” The owner of the voice said.

“You shut your fuckin’ mouth, Dixon. You ain’t got no right to talk to him like that!” I yelled at him, my fingers tightening around the torque wrench. I hated the fact my accent was slipping back. I’d tried for years to get rid of it. It still came out, when Juice and I had our spats. He’d asked where it came from and I told him I was honestly from Georgia.

The taller, older man’s eyes narrowed at me. He hadn’t aged well at all, reminding me of moldy cheese instead of a fine wine. He looked a lot like pop did in my memory and my fingers instinctively tightened around the torque wrench. The younger of the two, looking well-worn and years older than he actually was, stood shock straight.

“Kelsi?” Daryl whispered, like he was seeing a ghost.

“The fuck you two doin’ in my garage?” I roared. “I told you I never wanted to see either of your faces again!”

“Kelsi, quit’cher bitchin’ and come give your big brother a hug.” Merle said with a grin, moving towards me.

I took two solid steps back, away from him.

“You know these guys, Kels?” Jimmy asked, looking between us.

“ ‘Course she does.” Daryl spat at my mechanic.

“Don’tcha see the family resemblance?” Merle grinned like he’d won a prize at the state fair.

“Don’t you fuckin’ come near me, you asshole piece of shit.” I growled, taking a deep breath and spitting towards his feet.

The glare I received from the older Dixon was the worst I’d ever received. And that was saying something, considering how often he used to do it. “The fuck you say to me, princess?”

“You heard me, you dumb sack of shit.” I said clearly, trying to rid my voice of the accent that was plaguing my words.

Daryl pushed past Merle, coming to stand close to me, eyeing me down like a predator. “The fuck you doin’ in California, Kelsi Jo?”

“Honestly, Daryl. I could ask you the same question.” I told him, staring up at him carefully.

“Ya ain’t called, ya ain’t wrote. Ya missed pa’s service.” Daryl told me.

I glared at him. “That man made my life a living hell, same as yours, and yer mad I didn’t make it back to bury the bastard?”

His eyes looked hurt, but he shook his head, glancing away. “Nah, can’t blame ya. Missed ya though.”

I nodded, looking up at my twin brother. “Missed ya too.”

“Enough of this pussy ass shit. This ain’t no fuckin’ sissy movie. You give me my damn bike back!” Merle called.

I stepped around Daryl, glaring at my older brother. “You’ll get your damn bike back when you pay the fuckin’ mechanic, you lazy piece of shit.”

“Kelsi? You alright?” Opie’s voice broke through the air and I paused, turning to the tall man.

“Fuck. Opie. Don’t let Juice outta church.” I called, feeling the panic start to set in. “Don’t let Juice out here.”

But it was too late, he’d pushed open the doors of the clubhouse, laughing at something Jax had said. I saw him pause when he looked at me, seeing the two men in front of me. Shit was gonna get real.

“Fuck, no.” I whispered, feeling Daryl’s fingers on my shoulder to steady me.

“Ya alright, Kels?” Daryl asked, quietly.

“The fuck kind of name is Juice?” Merle said. “You got you some kind of pussy ass kid as a boy toy? Does he let you put it up his ass too?”

“You shut your fuckin’ mouth Dixon, before you ain’t got no teeth to talk with!” I yelled, gripping the wrench harder.

“Oh. Is that all you got, little sister?” Merle asked, raising his voice to sound like a little girl. “You wanna play in the sandbox with some Barbie toys? You wanna play dolls, is that it?”

My temper was bubbling and I couldn’t even feel Daryl’s hand rip away from my shoulder as I charged at Merle, swinging the torque wrench for all I was worth. I saw his eyes grow wide as I came at him and I felt defeat as he ducked out of the way. But I took another swing at him, with less force that hit him in the side before there were hands pulling me back, away from the older man.

There was shouting and people yelling, trying to get everybody to calm down before Juice was in front of me, fear in his eyes as he cupped my face. I knew Daryl was at one of my shoulders and Opie was at the other as I struggled out of their grip, hugging Juice tightly.

I’d never wanted this. I’d never wanted him to see anything different of me than what he’d already saw. What he’d seen, before when I’d tried to jump off the bridge; that was as bad as it got. But I forgot about Daryl and Merle, my family I wished had stayed gone. Juice held me tightly, but I knew he was questioning what was going on.

“What the hell was that?” Jax roared as everyone quieted down.

I pulled away from Juice. “I’m sorry.” I told him. He was questioning me silently as I stepped away from him. I cleared my throat, seeing all eyes on me. “The two redneck freaks in the plaid are my brothers, Daryl and Merle.”


	2. Chapter 2

There was silence in the group for a moment before Juice stepped closer to me. His eyes went wide. “You said you didn’t have anything to do with your family.”

“You said you didn’t have no family?” Merle spat, nearly foaming at the mouth.

“You shut your fuckin’ face.” Jax commanded, getting into Merle’s face before turning to me. “Explain, now.”

“Daryl and I are twins. Merle’s eight years older. When I turned eighteen, I ran away from home. I never went back because I didn’t want to.” I told Jax sincerely. “And then I came out of the office while you’re in church, hearing these two fucks screaming about not paying their damn bill.”

“You’re gonna pay your fuckin’ bill, with interest because I had to look at your sorry face.” Jax said, turning to Merle.

Merle looked at me hard. “You piece of shit. We’re glad you never came back.”

“Do you see how many bikers are surrounding you right now? I’ve been here for months. You think I’m not part of this club now? They will kill you and nobody will ever miss your sorry ass.” I told him harshly, receiving a glare.

“Pay the woman.” Jax repeated.

Merle glared at me the whole time he got his wallet out of his pocket. “Even got with a fuckin’ beaner.”

“He’s Puerto Rican, you fuck.” I said calmly.

“Brown is brown and I won’t be happy til they all roast alive.” Merle said, a snarl to his lip.

“Get on yer fuckin’ bike, lad!” Chibs spoke up loudly.

“Man, c’mon.” Daryl said, yanking on our older brother’s arm towards the bay where the gang had cleared away from.

“Don’t you fuckin’ leave this town. We’re having a family meeting.” Merle said, letting Daryl pull him away.

They climbed on their bikes and rode out of the parking lot. Everybody turned on me when they left. “You’ve got some family problems, lass.” Chibs said.

“But I’m pretty sure you broke the big guys rib.” Half Sack said with a tinge of a smile.

“Your fucking family?” Juice roared.

“No! We’re not fighting here!” I turned on him. “You wanna yell at me? Fine. But you’re taking me home like a normal domestic dispute.”

“No!” Juice said sternly. “They came here, they cuss out my old lady at my clubhouse, and it’s your fucking brothers?”

I felt defeated, nodding. “I never thought they’d end up here of all places. I was in twenty different states before I decided to stop running here. I thought California was far enough away from Georgia, I’d be safe here.”

“Why were you running from them?” Juice asked.

“Because they’re assholes!” I said loudly.

“Believe me, I got that. Why did you run away?” Juice asked me, anger in his face.

Usually, Juice’s anger made mine flare and we’d yell until one of us just decided to stop. But with all the yelling at Merle and Daryl, I couldn’t yell at Juice. “Because my dad treated me the same way yers did you.” I said, my accent slipping. “The same way Danny did. And Merle ain’t much a better person. I ain’t doin’ it again! I ain’t goin’ back with ‘em.”

Juice shook his head and I could tell he was pissed. “We’re goin’ home.”

I wanted to fight him, but I didn’t, knowing I was his old lady and there were rules in place. I’d already broken several of these rules by not telling the club of my family. Juice had known I’d had family, but my withholding information about them; not telling him more, was breaking one of the rules. He was supposed to be my protector, under the club. Even though he knew that I had family, this was different. I never expected to see them again.

We rode home in silence and he barely spoke to me, even as we climbed off the bike that got parked in the garage. Even after the engine died, he said nothing, leading the way into the house. He flopped on the couch and I stood for a moment before grabbing a bottle of whiskey from the cupboard above the fridge and taking it to him. I didn’t know if it was safe to sit on the couch, but he took the bottle from him, tipping it back and taking four big swallows of the dark liquor.

“You lied to me.” He said.

I nodded, sitting on the floor next to the couch so I was lower than he was. I’d come to find that MC behavior was a lot similar to wolf behavior. I had to look submissive if I wanted to come out of this alive.

“I don’t understand why you didn’t just tell the truth.” Juice said with a wary laugh, like he’d find this all really funny in ten years.

“Would you have believed me if I told you I was related to that trailer trash?” I asked him, hoping for a chuckle.

“You are trailer trash.” He said with a smile. Obviously the whiskey was doing its job and I ducked my head, knowing how he’d meant to say it. “I mean, seriously. Coming from a family like that? I’m surprised you made it out alive.”

I leaned against the couch, listening to the breeze blow against the windows and Juice sip more from the bottle. I heard him rustling around in his pocket, pulling the cigarette case he used for his joints out. He pulled one out and lit it, exhaling the sweet smoke into the room.

Juice laughed. “I thought it was your fuckin’ husband come to take you home or something.”

I quirked a smile, although he’d known Danny had been the last man I was with. He knew Danny was gone forever. Nobody ever saw the family resemblance between me and the boys, even with Daryl being my twin. “I couldn’t get a date in high school because all the guys from the next town over thought he was my boyfriend.”

We sat there for a long time. Juice nearly finished off the fifth, smoking two more joints before falling asleep on the couch in his cut. I laid a blanket over him, biting my lip at the sight. I capped the whiskey and put it away before pulling my jacket off the rack and slowly pushing open the door to the garage. I didn’t want to risk sneaking out through the front door. I always forgot how hard the screen door slammed against the wood frame.

Once I was in the garage, I left through the man door and headed out onto the street. At first, I started in the direction of the clubhouse before I stopped.

Nobody at the clubhouse wanted to see my sorry face. I exhaled into the chilly night air and turned around, heading for the highway. It was only two miles out. It took me longer to walk, but I was used to riding with Juice or on a motorcycle in general. I generally forgot I had a little Dodge Inpreid in the driveway, even though I walked by it frequently.

I knew the cheapest motel off the highway was the Rodeway Inn, so I headed for it. It wasn’t hard to spot the two Harleys parked side by side in front of one of the rooms, but I didn’t want to have a screaming match with Merle in the parking lot.

I pulled out my cell and typed in the number I remembered from a hundred years ago, hoping Daryl hadn’t had a reason to change it. ‘Out by the swings’ was all I typed out as I fell into one of the swings on the flimsy playground set. I watched the door for almost ten minutes and was about to give up and leave when it opened.

Daryl’s figure emerged, calling something in to Merle before pulling the door closed. I saw him light a cigarette before he wandered over to the swing set. I watched the highway in front of us, the cars whizzing by, somewhere else more important to be than here.

“Hell ova day.” Daryl said, the scent of cigarettes and wet dirt filling my noise.

I nodded, not feeling up to talking at the exact moment.

Daryl never cared much for mindless chatter, it was one of the reasons he hated Merle. But Daryl and I were different in the aspect that I knew what Merle was made of and it made me sick. Daryl knew, but he was so scared to lose the only family he had left, he was willing to be drug around the country for the man who was no better than our dad had been.

A pack of cigarettes ended up near my face and I pulled one out, making sure not to take Daryl’s lucky strike. The man had never been superstitious, but he believed to his core in lucky strikes. He handed over his lighter and I leaned down, cupping the cigarette around my hands to block it from the breeze as I sparked the lighter.

I took a deep breath, smiling at the flavor of the L&M Bolds. I hadn’t had them since Daryl and I started smoking together in high school. “Can’t believe they still make these.”

“I must be keepin’ ‘em alive.” Daryl said, the smoke dangling between his lips. “You been doin’ okay?” He asked quietly.

He was facing the side of my face that had a nice, long thin scar from Danny’s ring months ago. I thought about the answer for a long time before I shook my head. “No.”

He nodded, taking my honesty with a grain of salt as he fell into the swing next to me. “Me neither.”

I gave a nervous chuckle. “Yer with Merle. Can’t expect so.” I told him, cursing myself for the way the drawl just came back after all these years of suppressing it.

Daryl shrugged like he was at a loss. “Merle… he ain’t so bad.”

I looked over at him curiously, wondering if he really thought that or if he was talking out of his ass. He made no move to challenge me, just gave me a sideways glance as I sucked on the cigarette. “Suppose we’ve all changed a bit.”

“He dead?” Daryl asked, filling his lungs with smoke.

“Who?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.

“The fucker that messed up yer face.” He told me simply, no implications in his tone.

I had never heard what the club had done with Danny, but I hadn’t seen him around town and his old house was up for sale. To be honest, I was scared to ask. I knew there was blood on the clubs hands, but I didn’t want to know the details of it ever. “Expect so.” I told him.

He nodded like that was a good enough answer. “You let him do that long?”

“Didn’t let him do nothin’, Daryl.” I told him, feeling the sting of his words.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that.” He told me.

I sat there for a moment, remembering all the damage Danny had done to me. All the broken mirrors, all the broken bottles, all the times I’d had to stitch myself up. “Better part of a year and a half.”

Daryl scoffed, spitting at his feet as he lit another cigarette. “Shoulda called.”

“And said what? ‘Come rescue me from another fuckin man wanting to beat the shit out of me’?” I asked him harshly, stomping out the cigarette butt.

“I sure as fuck wouldn’ta let it go a year and a half.” Daryl spat back.

I shrank away from his words, remembering I hadn’t come to fight. We sat there in silence, listening to the running’s of the hotel, watching the cars speed by. “Ain’t at all like home.”

Daryl scoffed, but the corners of his mouth twitched into a smile. “We still only got one stop light.”

I smiled. “California must be a big place for you country bumpkins.” I said, moving on the swing to knock my knees into his.

“Sure ain’t Georgia.” He told me and I nodded.

“Sure ain’t.” I agreed.

“Yer Mexican know yer out here talkin’ to me?” Daryl asked, offering me another smoke.

I took it and the lighter again, breathing deeply. “Ain’t Mexican.”

Daryl shrugged like he didn’t care. “Ain’t no difference to me.”

“He passed out on weed and booze. Probably wake up about two or three with nightmares.” I told him honestly. Juice and I both had recurring nightmares when we drank or smoked too much. But it never really stopped us from doing it again.

Daryl nodded. “He takin’ care of ya?”

I nodded, smiling. “Best anybody ever has.”

He looked at me, trying to see if I was telling the truth or not. “Don’t mean much.”

I knew what he meant and decided not to argue. We’d both been treated like crap our whole lives. We’d never thought we’d amount to anything, or hell, even make it out of the family alive. But here we were; the last in a long line of sinners, just like us.

“I’d hate to have to kill ‘im.” Daryl said and it took a minute to realize he was talking about Juice.

I shook my head. “He watches movies with me.” I told him, looking over at him. Daryl and I had always had a hard time finding anybody to watch movies with besides ourselves, since nobody ever liked the movies we watched and pa never let us watch too much TV. “And he makes me these little paper cranes when he’s apologizing because I told him nobody ever made shit for me before.”

Daryl cracked a smile and I knew it was going well. “Don’t start sproutin’ Spanish all the day, does he?”

I rolled my eyes. “He’s from Queens. I’m pretty sure he speaks more Yiddish.”

“The fuck is Yiddish?” Daryl asked, crinkling his nose like he smelled something funny.

I chuckled, leaning into him. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, lil’ sis.” Daryl said with a smile.

“Seven fucking minutes.” I groaned, remembering how he’d introduce me the same way in high school.

“Older is older.” He said, stomping out his smoke and standing up. Without another word, he headed for the hotel room and I was left on the swing set.


	3. Chapter 3

By the time I made the walk home, Chibs and Half Sack had both texted me, asking if I was alright. I sent them both back the same message.

‘I fucked up. Gotta work it out myself. Might not be at work tomorrow.’

Half Sack had replied almost instantly, telling me he was here if I needed him. I thanked him and told him goodnight. Chibs didn’t reply for nearly a half hour. ‘Outside’ was the only thing that came through.

I narrowed my eyes at the message, glancing at how Juice was still long gone on the couch. I toed on my shoes again and grabbed my jacket, making my way out the man door of the garage and out onto the sidewalk.

Chibs stood at the end of the driveway without his bike. “Parked down a block. Didn’t want ya gettin’ in trouble with Juicy.” He said before I had a chance to ask.

I nodded, crossing my arms over my chest. “Come to tell me what I fuck up I am?” I asked, watching the concrete like it might come alive.

“Nah, suppose you’ve got enough of that comin’.” He said. “I came to make sure yer alright.”

I shrugged. “What’s better than family?” I asked sarcastically, kicking at the cement with the toe of my shoe.

“You are.” Chibs said, setting his finger under my chin and making me look at him.

“Juice is mad I didn’t tell him more about my abusive family. My abusive family is mad that I left. Merle is probably gonna deck me next time he sees me. And Jax, man, Jax looked so mad.” I said with a sigh. “I broke the old lady code.”

Chibs chuckled, which both did and didn’t reassure me of the situation. “Aye, that ya did. If ya’d told Juicy boy more, ya’d be doin’ alright about now. But ya kept it a secret from us all. That always comes back to bite ya in the arse.”

I nodded. “Well, obviously I know that now. You got a Delorean stashed somewhere?” I asked, looking up and down the street for effect.

Chibs gave a hearty chuckle. “ ‘Fraid not lass.”

I nodded, feeling my fate settle on my shoulders. “So I’m goin’ it alone. Perfect. Just like old times.” I grumbled, turning away from him.

He took my shoulder with a strong hand, turning me back around. “I never said you were goin’ it alone. I don’t care about yer family, because we’re yer family. Whatever choice you make, it’s yours and yours alone. But I’ll back yer every step.”

I gave him a smile, moving to hug the older man. “You’re the best pop I ever had.”

“Way to make a lad feel old.” Chibs said, but he smiled. “Best get back to yer old man. I suppose there’s makeup sex at the end of this somewhere.” He said with a grin, turning and walking back the direction I assumed his bike to be.

I nodded. “Makeup sex would definitely be worth it at this point.” I mumbled, moving back towards the house.

 

* * *

Juice climbed into bed with me damn near 4 in the morning, shaking. Without a word, I pulled him close to me, knowing we relied on each other for these things. He was mumbling about being worthless and stupid and I shushed him, slowly moving my fingers over his back and shoulders to calm him. It took almost an hour before he wrapped his arms around me tightly, holding every inch of me against him.

“I love you.” His whispered words came out of the silence.

“I love you too.” I told him.

“Don’t leave me.” He said quietly.

I shook my head against him. “Never.”

“Don’t go back with your brothers.” He whispered and I could tell he was close to tears.

“I can’t. I won’t.” I told him, feeling the panic increase in my chest.

He held me close for a long time before we fell into a restless sleep together. We woke up together as his alarm went off and we just laid together, wrapped up in limbs and sheets. “Are you going to work today?” He asked quietly.

“I don’t think anybody wants me there.” I told him just quietly.

“I do.” He told me.

“You’re not the Prez. And Jax looked so mad yesterday.” I said, moving to pull away from Juice.

His grip tightened on me, not allowing me anymore room to move. “Clay and Jax will understand when I explain it. Don’t leave.”

I moved back against him and he relaxed. “They’re still gonna be pissed.”

Juice nodded against my chest. “We’ll work it out together.” I hoped so. I hoped it didn’t all fall apart again.

We got ready and rode into Teller Morrow. Juice told me he’d find Jax and I made my way into the office to find Clay in my chair behind the desk.

“Heard your family made a surprise appearance.” He said in his gruff voice. I nodded, fearing my voice. “You send ‘em away?” He asked, looking at me sharply.

“I tried.” I told him, hearing my voice crack and betray me. I cleared my throat before talking again. “They want to talk to me before they leave town.”

“Then why are you here?” Clay asked sharply.

“Because I don’t know what to say to them.” I explained.

“You best figure it out and get them out of my club.” Clay said sternly, pushing out of my chair and heading into the garage.

I sighed after the door closed and wrinkled my nose. I hated the smell of cigar smoke after Clay left a room; like old smoke in a closed up room.

A couple hours later, I went over to the clubhouse to get something for lunch and returned to the office so nobody had to see my sorry face. I’d just finished lunch when Opie came in from the garage.

“Your friend is sitting outside the gates.” He told me, looking disgruntled.

I stood, wondering what friend as I pulled open the office door. I could see Daryl leaning against his parked bike on the street across from the TM gates. “Why can’t they just leave?” I murmured, pushing myself to take the step forward. Opie trailed behind me, following me across the lot. “You don’t have to.”

“Wouldn’t want Juice to kill me for letting you get hurt.” He spoke up, never taking his eyes of Daryl.

“You’re twice Juice’s size.” I said, looking him up and down.

“Don’t mean he wouldn’t shoot me.” Opie told me, stopping at the entrance to the gates. This way he could over hear the conversation, but give us some space. It was MC code. I’d done wrong by not informing the club of my family, but they’d still protect me.

I crossed the road before stopping in front of my twin brother.

Daryl glanced over my shoulder. “Wanted to talk to you alone.”

“Well, after Merle threatened me, they’re not letting me alone unless I’m in the office.” I told him.

“You know Merle ain’t like that.” He told me, pushing off his bike to light a cigarette before offering me one.

I took it, sparking his lighter before handing it back. “Whatcha wanna talk about?”

“Merle ain’t leavin’ til he can talk to you.” Daryl told me.

I nodded. “Figured as much.”

“He wants to talk tonight, after you get off work.” Daryl told me.

I smiled. “Merle don’t give two shits about work, or when I get off.”

Daryl nodded. “I told him to.”

“Well, thanks, I guess.” I said, sucking on the smoke.

“I miss ya.” Daryl told me sincerely.

“I miss you too. But not enough to be around Merle.” I told him and I could see the pain in his eyes. “This is my family. They love me here.”

Daryl puffed up his chest. “I love ya, ya fucker.”

I ducked my head, nodding. “But we can’t be around each other for more than five minutes without screamin’. We can’t talk normal.”

Daryl seemed to agree as he relaxed a little, leaning back against the bike. “Thought you was dead.”

I nodded. “Almost did.” He looked up at me sharply, asking the question without words. “I almost jumped off a bridge. Didn’t think there was another way to get away from my ex. Chibs and Jax saved me.”

“The fuck kind of name is Chibs?” Daryl asked, stepping on the butt of his smoke.

“The fuck kind of name is Daryl with a ‘y’?” I asked, looking at him sharply.

He ducked his head, nodding a little. “Suppose I can meet ‘em?”

I watched him for a moment, not sure if he was serious. But I nodded. “I’ll bring ‘em tonight. Jax is VP. He’ll probably want to be there anyway.”

Daryl watched me for a long moment and I looked up the street so I didn’t have to look at him. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for ya.”

I nodded. “It’s fine Daryl. I’ll see you tonight.” I told him, turning and crossing the road quickly, shoving my hands in my pockets.

“You good?” Opie asked.

I shook my head. “Good as it gets, which ain’t much.”

“I like your accent.” Opie told me, watching Daryl speed off down the street.

I sighed heavily. “Tried for almost ten years to get rid of it. Guess I’m fuckin’ stuck with it again.”

Opie cracked a smile like he enjoyed seeing me with this annoyance.


	4. Chapter 4

Pacing the room was the only thing I could do with my nervous energy. Juice would be home any minute and then we were off to meet Merle and Daryl at the abandoned dairy. That way if there was a scuffle or somebody got shot, we weren’t in the public eye.

I was so nervous, I just couldn’t manage to stand still for longer than five seconds. I’d asked Chibs if he’d come tonight, since Daryl was sincere in wanting to meet him. Juice told me Jax was comin’ already to make sure nothing went south. Pacing seemed like a good idea when I started it, but now I couldn’t stop. I felt like even if I wanted to, my legs would keep moving on their own.

Strong hands on my shoulders stopped my motion, making me look up at their owners. Juice stood in front of me with a sad look in his eyes and I wanted to burst into tears. “I’m sorry.” I told him quietly.

“I know you are. But this is a partnership. We have to work together or we won’t work at all.” He said softly.

I nodded quickly. “I know, I know. If I had any idea I’d ever see them again-“

Juice cut me off by pulling me close and holding me tightly. “We’ll figure it out. We always do.”

I nodded again, wiping my eyes from the stray tears that had left my eyes. Something moved out of the corner of my eye and I turned to see Chibs shifting his weight, looking away from us. He caught me looking at him and he turned to smile, holding his arms out to me. I moved over to him, hugging him tightly. “Thank you.”

“Fer what, lass?” The Scot asked.

“Everything you’ve done for me since you saw some stupid girl standing on a bridge.” I told him sincerely.

“Ain’t no stupid girl, lass. She’s smart and funny and looks bad ass in leather pants.” Chibs said with a wink and a smile.

I chuckled and smiled at him, silently thanking him again.

“C’mon. Jackie boy is waiting outside.” Chibs said, taking my hand and guiding me out of the house.

I climbed on the back of Juice’s bike and Jax led us out to the dairy with Chibs trailing behind. Daryl was already there when we parked our bikes, but Merle was nowhere to be seen. Juice squeezed my hand before I met Daryl halfway in the open driveway.

Daryl looked nervous, glancing over my shoulder. “They uh… They ain’t gonna shoot me if I hug ya, are they?”

I smiled at him. “C’mon.” I said, holding my arms out.

He scooped me into his arms and held me tightly, lifting me off the ground. He held me for a long moment before releasing me again with a little smile. “Missed ya.”

“Ya already said that.” I told him and ducked my head, wishing this accent would go away.

Daryl glanced over my shoulder again. “That them?”

I nodded, turning around and giving them a little wave. Juice stayed back by the bikes, but his eyes never left me. “Daryl, this is Chibs and Jax. Guys, my only slightly older twin brother, Daryl.”

“Heard ya saved my sister.” Daryl said, giving Jax and Chibs both a firm grip.

“Yeah, we did.” Jax said and I felt like he was challenging Daryl.

“Ya got the same grip your sister does, lad.” Chibs said, obviously trying to defuse the tension.

Daryl just nodded before looking back down at me. “I uh… I told Merle twenty after. I wanted to make sure ya didn’t hate me first.”

I turned to him. “Why would I hate you?”

Daryl looked away, digging in his pocket for a cigarette. It was his only way of calming his nerves. He’d never been good at talking about his feelings and I knew this was all very hard for him. “I never… I never watched after ya like I shoulda.” He told me quietly, sparking his lighter and take a deep drag.

“You didn’t know any better.” I told him.

He shrugged. “Guess it don’t matter now.” He told me.

I hit him hard in the shoulder, making him look at me. “They adopted _me._ They saved _me._ Pa wanted a punching bag and you wanted to be whatever the fuck Merle wanted ya to be.”

He gave me a sharp look. “Didn’t sleep with half the county either.”

I gapped at him. “Ten fucking years later and all you have as a comeback for being a shitty brother was, ‘Wow, you were a whore in high school’?”

“I did the best I could.” He told me, but we both knew his words were empty.

I felt my temper building and I turned away from him, looking up at the night sky. It was pretty out here, away from the city lights. I could see the North Star easily, where I couldn’t in the city.

Daryl sighed loudly behind me and I knew the three bikers were watching us closely. “I never knew how ta talk to ya without pissin’ ya off.”

I sighed, turning back to look at him. “It’s really not that hard. You literally have to say something, anything that isn’t condescending. I ain’t in high school no more, Daryl.” I told him, talking with my hands.

He watched me carefully. He knew it was a trait I only had when I was desperately trying to communicate.

A motorcycle roared in the distance and Jax and Chibs retreated to their bikes, hanging back out of the way. Merle gave us a snarl as he climbed off his Harley.

“The fuck is this? The fuck you run off without me for?” Merle snapped at Daryl who shrunk away from him.

“Don’t you yell at him. He wants to keep the peace.” I told Merle.

He turned his snarl on me. “Well ain’t you a good little biker bitch. Goin’ wherever your Mexican tells you.”

“He’s Puerto Rican, you deep fried fuck.” I said calmly. Merle held his hands up in mock defense. “I didn’t come here to fight with you. I came here to talk to you so you’ll get the hell out of my town.”

“Yer town?” Merle said and I could hear the slur starting. He’d already been at the bar this evening.

“Yes. My town, my people, my bikers. Mine.” I said, gesturing to myself.

“What about your family?” Merle asked sharply.

“Currently, they’re standing behind me and off to my left.” I said, loosely gesturing to Daryl.

Merle snarled at me, spitting in my direction. “What ‘bout ol Merle, huh? You too good to have a buncha roughnecks for family?”

“No, I ain’t dammit. I’m too good for your sorry ass and your poor excuse of a life.” I told him. “You drug my brother all over this godforsaken country because you’re too selfish to go your own damn way. You been draggin’ him down since he was old enough to walk and you ain’t stopped since.”

“You best watch your mouth, sister. I don’t care how that pussyfoot of a beaner treats you, you best understand yer place.” Merle said with a deadly calm.

“No. Fuck you.” I told him, moving to stand more between him and the bikers behind me. “They love me, Merle. They care for me like you ain’t seen the likes of before.”

“Love.” Merle scoffed at the word.

“When was the last time you woke up next to a woman who was happy to see yer face in the morning? Huh?” I asked, coming closer to him. “ ‘Cause you see the man leaning against the Dyna? Yeah? My face is the first thing he wants to see in the morning. He gives a shit about me. He watches out for me and protects me like I ain’t seen before. He would miss me if I left.”

“We missed ya!” Merle roared. “Every goddamn day after you left, I missed ya.”

“But you ain’t come lookin’ til ya found me. On accident.” I told him pointedly. He paused, obviously trying to think it out. “Ya ever go lookin’ for me? Huh? Ya ever leave the city lines to see if I’d gone far? Goddamn, I spent the first two weeks in Rossburn.” I told him.

“That ain’t but twenty miles away.” He said, thinking about it.

“No it ain’t, but you didn’t look for me. You were glad to have one less fuckin’ kid to mind. But lucky you, you got stuck with the one who followed you around like a little lost puppy dog. Suppose if you were gonna get one of the goddamn twins, might as well be the one you gave half a shit for.” I said, feeling like I couldn’t stop the words.

Merle’s face was getting red and he moved up right close to me so I had to tilt my head to look at him. “You watch yer mouth.” He told me slowly. “Family’s family and I ain’t never gave up on family.”

“But ya didn’t give a shit either.” I told him with the same voice.

“You watch yer mouth, girl, or I’mma have to straighten you out.” Merle said, giving a short glance over my shoulder.

“Ya ain’t gonna touch her, Merle. Your sorry ass wanted to talk.” Daryl said and I could feel him behind my shoulder.

“Why’d ya leave?” Merle asked sternly.

I blinked at him. “You don’t actually have the balls to ask me that, do you?”

“I ain’t never done ya wrong. I did my damnedest. So you tell me why you left.” Merle said.

I slowly turned around, Daryl ducking his head, looking away. “You… never told him?”

Daryl looked everywhere but at me. I knew he was trying to avoid confrontation, but I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

“Tell me what?” Merle asked angrily, glancing between Daryl and me.

Daryl just looked at me and shook his head, barely glancing at Merle. “Don’t.” He whispered.

But my resolve was set. I turned away from Merle, gripping the hem of my t-shirt and pulled the back of it up to rest on my shoulders so it covered my front, but Merle had a clear view of the scars running over the skin of my back. I looked over at Daryl, knowing he had many matching ones that Merle had never seen before. It was why he’d always wear the leather vest, even if he went shirtless.

Daryl’s face fell and I could see he was breaking inside when his eyes locked with mine.

“What…” Merle started, but he couldn’t finish his sentence. “I didn’t… I didn’t know…” Merle said as I pulled my shirt back down and turned to him. He looked horrified. “He hit me, but I didn’t… I didn’t know he ever touched ya.”

“You left, ‘member? Ya got yourself locked in the state pen for two years. Thought he grew out of it? Thought he wouldn’t take it out on somebody else?” I asked him sharply and he winced like I’d prodded him.

Merle looked like he was crumbling as he stepped away. “Ya… ya never said so.”

“Would you have listened?” I roared, feeling my temper soar. “Would you have gave two shits? No. Because it didn’t involve you and your pathetic little life.”

Merle looked at me helplessly.

“Now, you wanna stick around, you wanna talk to me like a goddamn human being? Then fine. Stick your ass around. But if you so much as show up at the shop again and give my bikers one dirty goddamn look, I will not hesitate to shoot you.” I told him, turning sharply and heading back for the bikes.

“Kelsi Jo, wait.” Daryl said, after I’d already come to stand in front of Juice. He glanced at the three men next to me before approaching slowly. “Come with us.”

“Where, Daryl?” I asked, feeling tired.

He shrugged, digging his hands in his pockets. “Wherever.”

I shook my head. “I can’t. I can’t run off with you and Merle. I got roots here. I got people willing to watch my back.”

“I’ll watch yer back.” Daryl said, giving me a pointed look.

I nodded. “I know ya would.” I said, before looking at Juice, who took my hand and held it tightly, silently begging me not to go. “Why don’t you stay here, Daryl? We’ll get ya a job, get ya a house. Damn, I’ll even set ya up with somebody.”

Daryl watched me for a moment before glancing over at Merle who was digging in his saddlebags, no doubt for a flask of something or a bottle of pills. “I can’t… I can’t leave him.”

“Why? You could be better than him. We ain’t gotta be a family of drunks and liars no more. We could make somethin’ of ourselves!” I told him, coming to stand in front of him.

I saw Daryl’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard. He looked at me for a long minute then his eyes trailed over my head to Juice, Jax and Chibs. He looked back down at me, leaned in to kiss my forehead and turned, yelling at Merle to ‘get on your goddamn bike.’ They mounted their steeds and rode off, leaving a cloud of gravel dust.

The pain I felt in my chest as my heart broke was one I couldn’t identify. It was breath taking and crippling and I didn’t know if I could ever move again. Juice’s arms snaked around me from behind, pressing my back to his chest.

“You okay?” He whispered.

“I didn’t really want to lose them again, but part of me knew I would.” I told him quietly, moving out of his grasp to turn towards the bikes. “Let’s go home.”

We rode home the same way we’d rode out to the dairy. Jax and Chibs wished us goodnight and rode home themselves.

I kicked off my shoes and made my way for the bedroom. I stripped out of my shirt and pants and crawled into bed, facing the wall, my back to Juice’s side of the bed. I could hear him moving things in the kitchen and doing this or that before I felt the mattress move and him lay down. I stared at the wall for a long time.

When Juice’s fingers touched the skin on my back, I cringed away from him. I felt bad because he had nothing to do with it; it was just the memories flooding me and the exposed skin was rarely seen. His finger settled a moment, showing me he wasn’t going to hurt me before gently trailing lines over my back. I knew he was tracing the scars with his fingers. I didn’t know why, but I guessed it didn’t matter.

“A treasure map.” Juice said quietly.

I thought about it for a moment. “To what?” I asked just as quietly. There wasn’t any gold or silver at the end of this map.

“You. The best treasure a man could ask for.” He murmured, pressing his lips against my shoulder blade.

“I’m no treasure.” I told him, still staring at the wall in front of me.

“You are my treasure, forever.” He told me, kissing each of my shoulder blades before kissing other spots on my back. I figured they were scars, but I couldn’t ever remember exactly where they all were.

I rolled around in the bed to look at him. He watched me with a soft expression for a long moment before winding his fingers with mine. 

“You don’t have a good track record with guys. I have a very short track record with girls.” Juice said. “But you mean so much to me. I was so scared out at the dairy, thinking you might say yes.”

“I wouldn’t leave you. You’ve been so good to me.” I told him, scooting closer to him in bed.

He nodded, ducking his head to look at our hands laying on the bed tween us. “Sometimes family means more, even if they’re bad for you.”

I reached up to gently touch his cheek, making him look at me. “I’m not going anywhere as long as you’re here.”

He smiled a little, leaning forward to kiss me. I let myself fall into it, pulling him close to me, relishing the feeling of his skin against mine.


	5. Chapter 5

“Hey, Kelsi?” Opie asked the next morning at work.

There was so much paperwork on the desk, I didn’t even look up from it. I picked up an invoice to see the one under it. “Yeah?”

“Somebody out here wants to talk to you.” He told me.

“Tell them we don’t give refunds unless our parts broke.” I told him, searching through the stack of papers.

“He said to tell you Rottweiler.” Opie told me, looking confused.

I hadn’t heard the word in ten years, except for passing. I froze up, thinking it through in my head before setting down the papers and bolting for the door. Merle sat in the lot, a cigarette hanging from his lips. I jogged across the lot, stopping in front of him. “What happened?” If I remembered correctly, Rottweiler meant one of us had gone MIA and since Merle was standing here...

Merle shrugged, looking down beaten. “I woke up and he was gone. His bike too. Ain’t took no clothes.”

“What did you say to him?” I asked sharply.

“Ain’t said nothing, but we should leave your sorry ass here.” Merle spoke.

I was torn. Half of me wanted to search up and down the streets. The other half wanted to just leave him the fuck alone. He could survive more than well enough on his own. And if we found him, chances were, he’d go back with Merle.

“What’s wrong?” Juice asked, pounding boots on the cement.

“Daryl’s missing. He took his bike too.” I said, turning to him.

“So he ran away?” Juice asked.

“Ain’t none of yer damn business.” Merle slurred and I could smell the whiskey from here.

“It’s my damn business same as his, so you shut your face Dixon.” I growled. I turned to Juice, trying to decide what to do. “He don’t usually pick up and leave. I know he ain’t gone far, I just dunno why he did.”

Juice nodded. “I’ll pull some guys from the shop. If we don’t find him in a couple hours, we’ll give up.”

I felt my heart swell. “Thank you.” I told him, kissing him before he ran back to the open bays.

“Ya taste dirt when ya kiss him?” He asked.

“Get yourself back to your motel before you fall off that bike.” I said with a snarl, stomping back to the office. I grabbed the phone book and started calling bars asking if they’d seen him. Nobody could give me anything. I knew he wouldn’t have gone far. I also knew he wanted to go the last place anybody would ever look.

I sighed, wracking my brain. I decided I needed a cigarette, so I bummed one from Half Sack and walked out to the end of the driveway for the body shop, standing on the sidewalk pacing. I felt stupid. I should know this. I should know where he went and what he was doing. He was my twin for God sakes.

Five or six more rounds of pacing and something made me look up. I didn’t know why, but I just felt the need to look up the street. Not a block down the road, across the street, was a bar. The neon was lit bright, despite the eleven o’clock hour. I took a big drag from the smoke, looking down at the concrete before looking back towards the neon.

“The last place anybody would look for Daryl is right around the corner from me…” I thought out loud. My feet started across the street before my brain could understand what I was doing. I puffed the smoke all the way to the door, stomping it on the sidewalk as I pushed open the door.

It took a long minute for my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting when it had been so bright outside. The bartender nodded to me, telling me he acknowledged that I’d stepped inside. I nodded back, scanning the big room. The bar was up front, and off to the side in the back were pool tables. A jukebox sat in the middle, playing some country song from the 80’s I was sure I knew the words to if I thought about it for a moment.

In the table farthest from the entrance, stood a leather clad man with dark hair, cut short because that was how dad had told him men wear their hair. He’d never let it grow long enough to take a ruler to. If the yells and groans were of any conciliation, Daryl was kicking the other guy’s ass.

I stomped up to him, not caring how stupid I looked. He was leaning over to shoot and never even flinched when I came up, almost touching him. “What do you think you’re doing, running off like that? You freak. You coulda died.”

He smirked, shooting the 3 ball without a problem. “Nice to see you too, little sister.”

I knew he’d said it just to irk me. “Stop it. What are you doing?”

He stood and gave me a crocked smile, evidence he’d recently taken up our father’s favorite hobby. “Drinkin’. Kickin’ his ass.” Daryl smiled with a nod to the other man.

The other guy was looking less than happy. “Can we play, lady?”

“No, you can’t. Not until I’m done.” I told him, crossing my arms before I looked at Daryl. “What the hell got into you?”

He shrugged, showing me he obviously wasn’t that interested in our conversation.

“Fine. Why here? Three bars in Charming and you pick the one a block from my work?” I asked him harshly.

“Lady. Get over your issues so I can play my game.” The other man said loudly.

Daryl held up his hand, obviously telling him to be quiet for me. “Only one with some good pool tables.”

“Mason’s has pool tables.” I told him. “So does the Arrowhead off of Wadsworth.”

Daryl just watched me. “Ain’t gonna give up, are ya?”

“Nah, I ain’t. Tell me.” I said sternly.

“Get over your fucking lovers quarrel so I can play some goddamn pool.” The man said, coming around the table. He grabbed my arm and Daryl’s eyes went to fire.

I turned and threw my fist into his face as hard as I could. He doubled over, grabbing his face. I grunted as I kicked him in the stomach, knocking him and a set of two chairs and a table over. “I’m havin’ a motherfuckin’ conversation with my brother, you fuckin’ sack of shit. So shut yer goddamn trap and be a good bitch.” I growled at him, kicking him in the ribs again before turning to Daryl, the adrenaline pumping threw me. “Give me a fuckin’ answer.”

“No, give me a fuckin’ answer.” Daryl said, moving up close to me so our chests were almost touching. “You fuckin’ high tail it so fast, nobody can even see where the fuck ya went. And then, I find ya here in fuckin’ California? Ridin’ some Mexican bare back on his fuckin’ motorcycle? Tell me why the fuck you left.”

“Because you’re a goddamn piece of trash, Dixon. All you ever wanted was to be like yer paw. I left because I didn’t want to be the one to have to kill ‘im. If I stayed in that fuckin’ house, I woulda killed him or my own self.” I told him, puffing up my chest the same way he did.

“You shut yer mouth. You wouldn’ta had the guts and both of us know it.” Daryl growled.

“I woulda too. Maybe not when I was sixteen, but that man was still alive and to come up to me now, after the hell of a life I been through? Fuck that man. I’m glad he’s dead and so are you!” I said loudly, trying to get it through his thick head.

We’d attracted the attention of everyone else in the bar, but nobody was stepping in or telling us to get out, so I didn’t care.

“He wouldn’t no good, but he was our paw.” Daryl growled.

“No, he wasn’t no good, but you followed him around like we were expectin’ a damn treat.” He snapped.

Daryl looked mad enough to spit. “Fine. He ran ya off.” Daryl relented. “Couldn’ta took me too?”

“The fuck were you gonna go? With me? We can’t be in a room together five minutes without screaming. You think I was drivin’ with your ass out here?” I asked him, raising my eyebrows.

“Well if ya had, you wouldn’t tried gettin’ married to some fuckin’ ass pussy bitch that hit ya.” Daryl snapped.

I took a step back, as if he’d struck me. I moved my hand to rest on my chest, feeling a kind of snap, like something had broken. “I didn’t want that.” I said, barely above a whisper.

“Never fuckin’ stopped it.” He said and I could tell he’d had more to drink then I’d thought.

His words cut me deeper than I wanted and tears sprung to my eyes. “You think I wanted that? To get beaten for not making dinner? I wanted beer bottles and mirrors thrown at me because I wasn’t his dream trophy girlfriend, because I couldn’t lose enough weight? You think I wanted more fuckin’ scars with stories I can’t tell?” I choked.

Something in Daryl’s eyes switched and he realized his mistake. “Kelsi Jo…” He said quietly.

I shook my head, looking away from him. “You wanna leave, you fuckin’ leave. I’m done caring for people who don’t give a shit about me. You can fuck yourself.” I told him, spitting on his shoes before turning and walking away, pushing the door open with a clang.

Opie and Jax stood on the sidewalk in front of Teller-Morrow, looking up and down the street. Opie spotted me, nudging Jax before running towards me. “What-“ He started to ask, but I hugged him tightly, feeling the tears overrun me. I could feel Jax’s hand on my back, comforting me.

“What happened darlin’? They hurt ya?” Jax asked.

I shook my head into Opie’s t-shirt. “It’s just Daryl. I’m sorry. He’s an idiot.” I said, pulling away from the tall biker to wipe at my face. Jax held out a handkerchief and I scrubbed it over my face before handing it back to him.

“What’d he say?” Jax asked, looking alert.

I looked up at the sky and across the street, anywhere that wasn’t towards the guys. “He said I wanted to get beat because I didn’t stop it. So, ya know, that makes it my fault.”

Jax moved away from us before I grabbed his arm, making him look back at me.

“Please don’t waste your energy. He’s worthless. I got that. C’mon. Just… walk me back across the street.” I told him.

He was slow to recover, but he nodded, taking my hand from his arm and wrapping it around his, to keep me close or to help himself calm down, I wasn’t sure. But Opie’s hand set on my back and the two bikers walked me back across the street and into the lot for Teller-Morrow, where Opie called Juice, who had apparently left, doing a search grid.

Gemma hugged me tightly upon my return and I wondered if she squeezed so hard, trying to fit the pieces of a broken person back together. “You okay sweetie?”

I nodded. “Just family drama. They’ll leave and it’ll be fine again.” I said with another nod. “I uh… got more checks to enter into the computer.” I told her, moving back into the office. I saw the look Gemma gave me, but I think she also understood. So she closed the door, leaving me alone in the office. I sighed heavily, sitting at the computer and drowning myself in the unbalanced check register for the last month.

At some point, I heard the door open, whether it was to the lot or the bays, I wasn’t sure. I just knew that if I looked up and thought about it too much, I’d fall apart. So I continued to work on balancing the accounts until a hand touched my shoulder, making me jump.

I looked up to see Juice with a concerned look on his face. “Hey babe. What’s wrong?” I asked, suddenly worried something had happened.

“What are you doing?” He asked quietly.

“Working. Why?” I asked, still watching him carefully.

“I’ve been in here for almost a half hour.” He told me in the same tone.

“Oh God baby. I’m so sorry.” I said, looking away from him. “I just… got caught up. I can’t find where last month balances. It’s gonna drive me crazy.” I told him, looking at the paperwork spread across the desk.

“You haven’t even touched this shit in ten minutes.” He told me quietly.

I scrubbed my hand on my face, trying to think of a solid reason not to look at him. “I must’ve been zoning out.”

“What happened at the bar?” He asked gently, kneeling down to look up at me.

I couldn’t look at him. “Daryl just being his dick-self. No big deal.”

“Jax said you ran out in tears.” He spoke gently.

I shrugged. “He’s just a dick. It’s a family trait. I’m sure I’m a dick to you sometimes.” I told him, shuffling papers so I didn’t have to look at him.

“So why won’t you look me in the eye?”

His words were simple and he said them with no inflection, but they made me pause. “Because I don’t want to talk about it and I know looking at you will make me spill my guts.” I was positive he already knew that, but he wanted to hear me say the words.

“Why don’t you want to tell me?” He asked. I sat there, contemplating it before he sighed. “You don’t want me to kill him.”

I nodded slowly, shuffling my papers into a pile.

“He blamed you, didn’t he?” He asked slowly.

I put my palm under my chin and my elbow on the desk, looking out the window towards the back of the building.

Juice sighed. “C’mon. There’s a bottle of whiskey and a line of joints at home with your name on it.” He told me, tugging on my arm.

“You know me pretty well, huh?” I asked.

“You’ve lived with me for six months. How would I not know that we both get wasted to unwind from something?” He asked, guiding me out of the chair and the office, towards his Dyna in the lot.

He drove us home without another word, helping me from the bike and inside. I was about to start working on the dishes when his hand set on my hip, making my look at him. Juice almost looked helpless. “Please don’t.”

“Don’t what?” I asked, suddenly worried.

“You clean when you’re upset and I just can’t sit here and watch that.” He told me.

I bit my lip, looking away from him. I wanted to argue; tell him I wasn’t upset, I just wanted the dirty dishes out of the sink. But I knew it wasn’t true. I cleaned because it gave me something to ignore Juice, so I didn’t have to look at him and feel guilty. “Did you uh… have something in mind?”

He nodded, taking my hand and pulling me towards the living room. I let him lead me into the open space where he kicked off his biker boots and I followed suit, feeling so need for the foot coverings anymore. He picked up the remote for the surround sound system he’d installed right before I moved in and watched me as he clicked the button, sliding a disc into place in the system.

Chris Ledoux started singing Tougher than the Rest and I paused. I remembered telling Juice how it had been the song played at my Junior prom, when the guy I’d been crushing on all year asked me to dance with him.

“You hate country.” I told him quietly.

He nodded. “But you don’t.” He told me, taking my hand and pulling me closer.

“You told me you hate dancing.” I said, wondering why we were doing all these things we’d never done before.

“I don’t hate it; I’m just not good at it.” He told me, spinning me around before pulling me close again. He started moving us side to side before slowly moving me around the living room.

“You’re two-stepping.” I told him, wondering where all of this was coming from.

“Gemma taught me. I told her how you use to do it all the time.” He told me.

“Why are you doing all this for me?” I asked, pulling back enough to look at him, although I easily kept pace with his moves.

“Because nobody else ever has.” He told me, looking like he had more to say. “I need you to know you’re important to me. And if I have to two-step to music I hate, then that’s what I’m going to do.”

I watched him carefully as he danced us in circles. “You’re too good for me.”

He shook his head, spinning me again before pulling me in. “Just good enough.”

I leaned my head on his shoulder, relishing the feeling of his closeness as he moved back and forth. “You didn’t have to learn how to dance to music you hate to tell me you love me.” I spoke quietly.

Juice nodded. “Yes I did. All your life, people have lied to you; telling you they’d treat you right when they couldn’t hold a match between two fingers. I’m not going to promise you anything but what I’ve got. I just thought if I showed you that you mean something to me, you’d believe me for real.”

I held him tightly to me, feeling my eyes well up with tears. “That means a lot to me.” I told him quietly as we swayed. The song ended and a George Strait song came on. “Thank you.”

Juice and I had just finished dancing to our seventh or eighth song when there was a knock on the door. Most of the club only knocked to give warning before coming in. I didn’t remember the last time somebody had stood outside and knocked on the door. Juice moved to open it and I was surprised to see Daryl at the door, his head looking down the road and a smoke between his shaky fingers.

“What do you want?” Juice demanded, making Daryl cringe.

“Hey Kelsi.” Daryl murmured.

I came over and set a head on Juice’s side. I knew from Daryl’s posture he wasn’t here to fight, he was surrendering. I stepped between the two of them and took Daryl’s face in my hands, pulling it to look at me. He closed his eyes, showing me a big purple blotch around his eye and cheek. “Daryl.” I said quietly.

He shrugged hopelessly. “Merle n’ me… we got into it. They kicked us outta the hotel for it. Merle… he took off, tellin’ me not to come back to Georgia with him.” He said quietly, taking a deep drag from his cigarette.

My heart ached for him and I moved to hug him tightly. He was an asshole and a dick of a man, but he was full of good intentions and love for people who didn’t care about him. “But you’ve got me. It’s okay.” I told him.

“I don’t want yer fuckin’ pity. I don’t fuckin’ deserve it. I just want yer fuckin’ couch for the night.” He told me sharply, under his breath.

“Daryl Casey, you best know this house don’t give out pity. We have a stock pile of mercy and forgiveness, though. You can take as much as you want.” I told him, making him look at me again.

“Forgiveness.” He kind of laughed the word out. He took another drag before ducking his head. “Forgiveness I could use a little of.”

“You’re just gonna forgive him? After everything he said to you today?” Juice asked harshly, but Daryl cringed at the words like Juice had struck him.

“Forgiveness don’t mean you ain’t mad anymore. Forgiveness means that the other person is more important than your ego. I’d rather forgive him than lose him again.” I told him quietly, hoping he’d understand.

Juice watched me a long minute before he nodded like it clicked for him. “You drink?” Juice knew the answer, he was just being polite.

Daryl nodded. “I ain’t no Kelsi Jo, but I can hold my own.”

I shook my head, ushering him in and closing the door. “Don’t let him fool you. He can put away a twelve pack in the pre-party game and finish a handle without a problem.”

Juice scoffed like he didn’t believe me, but I nodded to him when he turned back around. He stalled out, pouring three shots.

“Junior year, I got shitfaced at a party one of Merle’s friends was throwin’. Daryl was a fifth of Captain Morgan in front of me and he took care of me the whole night, even finding a sober driver to get us home and into bed before dad woke up.” I explained, tossing back my shot.

Juice followed suit and Daryl rolled his glass around in his fingers before throwing his down the hatch. “Those were the days.” He said sarcastically.

I bumped into him. “Don’t say that.”

“At least we talked normal.” Daryl commented, avoiding looking at Juice as he looked around the room.

I nodded. “We weren’t allowed to fight then.”

Daryl shrugged and tapped the rim of his glass as he gave Juice a one second glance. I had the same habit, remembering being at the clubhouse while Jax cleaned glasses and poured me shots before driving me home.

Juice apparently noticed the gesture Daryl and I shared and poured my brother another shot. He also poured me one, which I thanked with a smile at him. I wasn’t oblivious to how Daryl watched us. I didn’t know if Juice saw or not, but Daryl barely nodded his head, marking his approval.

“So what do you do for a living?” Juice asked, his tone friendly enough, but a trained ear like mine could hear the curt undertone.

“I work on trucks, same as Merle and my old man.” Daryl commented.

I shifted, moving my hand to the back of my neck and glancing towards the fridge.

“You never told me your dad was a mechanic.” Juice’s voice came. I’d tried to brace myself for it, but I cringed ever so slightly.

“I didn’t… I didn’t think it was important.” I mumbled.

“Did ya tell him ya got a slut stamp too?” Daryl mumbled, sticking a cigarette in his mouth and lighting it.

I could almost feel my face burn up. I ducked my head. Juice knew very well exactly the location of the ‘tramp stamp’ I’d gotten the summer I turned 18. He liked the tribal butterfly quite a bit too, encouraging me to get more ink as often as possible.

“Man, don’t talk to her like that.” Juice remarked. “Because I will shoot you.”

I looked between them instantly, waiting to see Daryl’s reaction, versus Juice’s outburst. Daryl’s face morphed from pure anger to a one of almost pride. A moment of review showed me it was actually respect. I could almost see a meter above Daryl’s head labeled Respect, being down at the bottom in yellow or orange, and slowly rising into a blue color, two-thirds of the way up.

“I woulda said the same thing.” Daryl said quietly, sticking out his hand. It was a truce. It meant he’d chill his shit about me around Juice, because he respected him now. He would still be my brother, but he’d treat me with respect, because Juice did too.

Juice’s eyes were hard set as he gazed upon my brother’s face. He was daring him to go back on his word. But he firmly gripped Daryl’s hand, shaking hard before letting it fall back to his side again.

It was going to be okay. They’d accepted each other, because of me, even if they didn’t like each other. They were willing to separate their hate or distain, because they wanted to both keep me.

I smiled, looking between them as this realization crossed me. “Barkeep, another round please.” I said, tapping the rim of my glass out of habit.

Juice’s face turned to a smile, seeing me smile. “Whatever you want.” He said, pouring all three of us another shot of whiskey. We three clinked glasses and I smiled. It’d be okay.


	6. Chapter 6

Daryl spent the night on the couch. I’d slept in bed with Juice, despite Daryl’s loud and vulgar protests. I woke early, feeling the pull of the sun waking me. Juice snored quietly beside me. It was never loud enough to wake me, just loud enough to hear when you were awake.

Juice and I both took an hour to fall asleep when we’d actually gotten to bed, but we normally fell asleep at the same time. He liked cuddling up to my back and when I could feel his breathing evening out, I usually fell asleep.

He’d also normally wake when I woke. But this morning was different. I’d rarely been able to watch him while he slept, so I made sure to take in his every detail.

The way the peach fuzz was gently growing in against his scalp tattoos. The same peach fuzz covering his jawline, since he hadn’t shaved in a few days. The gentle way his chest rose and fell, showing how truly at peace he was right now. His fingers twitched behind my shoulder, since my head was resting on his arm.

It took another moment, but his breathing slowly changed and he made a groan of a noise, stretching and rolling into me at the same time. He curled up on his side, bringing me closer to him so that even though I was laying on his arm, he could rest his head on my shoulder.

“Good morning sunshine.” I whispered, kissing the peach fuzz on his head.

He groaned again, pulling me ever closer. “Let’s just do the sleep thing all day.” He mumbled against my skin.

“You’ve got church and somebody has to watch Daryl.” I told him quietly.

“Fuckin’ church. Fuckin’ Daryl.” He said on the breath of a sigh.

I smiled gently at him. “I love you.” I told him, kissing his head again.

He tilted his head still on my shoulder to look up at me. “I love you too.” He told me sincerely.

I wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could. A sharp jab in the thigh made me pause, glancing down at Juice. “Well somebody’s a little excited this morning.”

Juice blushed, despite the fact I’d seen the hard on in and out of the boxers he was currently wearing. “I had some good dreams last night.” He said, moving it around in his boxers so it wouldn’t poke my leg again.

“Well… ya know, there’s a cure for that.” I said quietly, running the tip of my index finger over his chest.

The air left Juice’s lungs and the stare of longing he gave me was almost worth a giggle.

“No there fuckin’ is not. Get your asses dressed!” Daryl yelled, banging on the bedroom door hard enough to make me jump.

“Motherfuckin’ asshole.” Juice halfheartedly mumbled, throwing off the covers to go kick Daryl’s ass.

I grabbed his arm and gave it a tug, bringing him back to me. When he landed on the bed, I kissed him hard and deep. He fell into it, cupping the side of my face and pulling me closer. I gently broke away from him and he had conflicting emotions on his face. “I want to bang the shit out of you.” He murmured, quietly enough I knew no one on the other side of the door could hear.

“I know baby. Me too.” I told him, biting my lip and kissing him again before we broke to get dressed.

I opened the door, letting Juice and I out into the hall that led to the rest of the house. Daryl was leaning against the back of the couch so he had a clear view of the hallway as we came down. I’d pulled a generic TM shirt out of the dresser, covered in grease stains Juice had gotten on it from work at some point.

Juice glanced at the clock and sighed, pulling his cut off the back of the chair. “It’ll be okay.” I told him quietly, setting a hand on his leather covered shoulder.

He nodded, but there was a look of worry in his eyes. “You want me to send somebody over?”

“I ain’t gon’ fuckin’ hurt her, you prick.” Daryl grumbled around the cigarette between his lips.

Juice almost turned around when I caught his shoulder, making him look at me. “No thank you. I’m fine. I’ve got work today. I won’t be very far behind you.”

He watched me for a moment before shaking his head, grabbing my hip and kissing me deeply. I had to concentrate on not falling into the kiss when he pulled back with a little smile. “I’ll see ya when you get to the shop.”

I nodded and he left through the door into the garage, never sparing Daryl another glance.

“Fuckin’ gross.” Daryl mumbled.

“Jealous.” I threw back.

Daryl balked. “Fuckin’ jealous, my ass. Of his jacket, maybe.”

“When ya goin’ home?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Merle called. Says he’s at another hotel, waitin’ on me to come back.”

I nodded, walking over to him and pulling the pack out of his breast pocket of the plaid shirt he wore. I took one before putting it back, sticking it between my teeth and grabbing the lighter Juice had left on the table by the door a few days ago.

“He don’t seem so bad for a beaner.” Daryl quietly commented.

“Motherfuckin’ Puerto Rican.” I mumbled under my breath, pinching the bridge of my nose.

Daryl nodded, like he was trying to commit it to memory. “Sorry.” He said quietly like he meant it. But with Daryl, there was no way to tell if he did or not.

I watched him for a moment, much the same way I watched Juice this morning. I tried to really take in his appearance instead of just looking at him. He was barely taller than he’d been in high school, about four inches taller than my 5’7” frame. His hair was cut the same kind of short it’d been his whole life. Dad said only girls let their hair grow out. If you had long hair, you were a girl. If you had short hair, you were a boy. He’d always been that black and white, as far back as I could remember.

Daryl had some new scars on his hands and arms. I figured most of them were from working, but I knew a half dozen of them probably came from bar fights, or fightin’ Merle when they were drunk. Maybe one or two from a girl who’d threatened his life after he said something fuckin’ stupid.  I could see one on his left hand from a knife. The way it laid, he’d probably been trying to block the blow.

His shirt was a better rag than anything, hanging by threads in places, the sleeves having been torn off ages ago. His shirt, like his jeans, was covered in grease stains and cigarette burns. He always had a bad habit of getting the cherry on his pants if he tried to flick it off.

I took a deep drag of my smoke, almost forgetting it was in my hand. The cherry breathed to life and I blew the smoke out into the room.

“What?” He asked gently. It wasn’t harsh, like he normally was. It was curious. He wanted to know what I was thinkin’ about.

“I always thought we’d be good people when we grew up.” I told him quietly. “Better than our folks, but no saints.”

Daryl was quiet for a moment and I knew he was absorbing my words. “You ain’t fell asleep with a smoke in yer hand and I ain’t beat the shit outta nobody but Merle, but he don’t count none.” He said, taking a deep pull from his cigarette. “Think we turned out alright.”

“We sure as hell could be worse.” I agreed.

“We could be Merle.” He said with a smile.

I let out a chuckle, elbowing him. “That’s not very nice.”

“But it’s true.” He said.

I nodded, looking back over at him. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too.” He told me quietly, leaning against me.

I put my arm around his shoulders, pulling him close and he wrapped his arm around my middle. “Your brother will come lookin’ for you after a while.”

He nodded. “Suppose so.” He told me, stubbing his cigarette out in the ashtray. “He wants to leave tomorrow.”

I nodded. As much as I wanted Daryl to stay, I also knew he’d have to leave too. “It’s your choice.” I told him, taking his hand and squeezing it. “I’ll walk you out.”

Although I walked Daryl out to where his bike was parked on the street, he said nothing else to me, only sparing a glance before he kicked it to life and rode off away from me. I shook my head and decided now was as good a time as any to go to work. Juice had bought me a Dodge Intrepid a few weeks ago with some of the money the club had given him. The other money he’d used for it came from clean, hardworking mechanic work.

I adored the car, just being able to have one. When I’d gotten with Danny, he’d sold my car to buy other things for himself. But Juice had paid cash for the whole thing, so there wasn’t a loan and he’d even put the title in my name, so it really was my car. I drove down the road, making the few turns it took to get to the Teller-Morrow lot on the other side of town. I parked and pulled my purse out with me.

Half Sack waved at me when he saw me. I smiled, waving back. Half Sack was an absolute dork, but I liked him being around. He was one of my favorites; always willing to help anybody that needed it. Opie and Juice were talking when I headed for the office. Op gave me a nod and I nodded back as I opened the door and smiled at the air conditioning.

I’d been working for almost an hour when Juice came in through the door to the garage. “Hey.” He said slowly.

“Hey. You alright?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just wanted to check on you. You’ve been in here a while.”

I shrugged. “I just found a groove. I’m all good.” I told him with a smile.

“You and Daryl alright?” He asked.

I nodded, then slowed my head to a stop, thinking about it. “We’re better than we were when he showed up. He doesn’t hate me, so I guess that’s what counts.”

“Does he still blame you?” Juice asked, sitting on the arm of the couch across from the desk.

I shook my head. “No. He just said that to be mean.”

Juice nodded. “I’m gonna go back to work if you’re alright.”

I nodded with a smile. “I am. Thanks for checkin’ on me.”

He smirked a little. “I like your accent.” He told me, before leaving through the door and closing it behind him.

I shook my head at him. He was stupid. My accent made me sound like I should be riding a mud covered pig through the middle of town shouting Praise Jesus!

 

* * *

It was near closing time when Tig knocked on the office door and pushed it open. “Hey Tig. What’s up?”

“Kels, we just got a call on the phone for the clubhouse. Your brother got arrested.” Tig told me slowly.

I sat there, watching him for a moment as his words processed through my head. “Which one?”

“The older, stupid looking one.” Tig clarified.

I rolled my eyes. “Not a-fucking-gain.” I mumbled. “He down at the station?”

Tig nodded. “He got popped for vandalizing your place. Spray painted ‘beaner’ on the side of the house.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? He fucking painted Juice’s house?” I growled, pushing out of the chair. “Goddamn piece of shit.”

“You want a ride?” Tig called.

“No, I’m good. Tell Juice what happened, but don’t let him rush down there. I got this.” I told him, walking backwards a few steps before turning around when I saw him nod.

The drive to the station was short. At the front desk, I told them my brother was the loud, rude, drunk one they’d arrested earlier. She led me to the holding cell where Merle sat sideways on the bench, his back against the brick.

“He’s not even Mexican.” I spoke, watching my older brother.

“A beaner’s a beaner. Don’t matter where they’re from.” Merle told me.

“He’s from Queens. He’s as American as you or me.” I told him, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Don’t compare me to that piece of shit.” Merle called, spitting on the concrete floor.

“You’re the only piece of shit in my line of view.” I told him.

“Ain’t no fuckin’ beaner though.” He spoke again.

“Merle, what the hell is wrong with you? I find something good, somethin’ decent for the first time in my life and you ain’t happy, so you’re tryin’ to tear my shit apart.” I said, feeling anger swell in me.

“Ain’t my fault you ran the first chance you got. I never did you no wrong.” He told me.

“You ain’t helped me none neither.” I told him sharply.

He turned his head. “That wasn’t my fault.”

“Course it wasn’t. Nothing ever is. It’s everybody else’s fault, ‘cept yours.” I told him.

He got off the bench, coming closer to the steel bars that separated us. “Never said that so don’t you be puttin’ words in my mouth.”

“You don’t gotta say it for anybody ‘round you to know. It was my fault I left, because I didn’t want hit no more. It was Daryl’s fault mom died because she was drinking after yelling at him and fell asleep with her cigarette in her hand. Why would anybody think you’ve got fault anywhere?” I asked sarcastically with a shrug.

“Woman, I oughta knock you into yar senses, talkin’ to me like that.” Merle growled.

“Right. Because that’s what the men in our family do when they’re angry. They hit something. Because a black and blue woman always makes a Dixon man feel better.” I hissed.

Merle banged roughly on the bars, just barely making me flinch. “You best get me outta this cell and I won’t whip ya.”

“If I was to even consider gettin’ you outta this nice little box you got, you gotta leave town. You leave town and you don’t come back around my people. You stop makin’ trouble for me here when I got it alright.” I told him sternly.

He rolled his eyes, nodding slightly.

“I didn’t hear ya say nothin’.” I spoke.

“Say what?” He growled.

“Say you’ll fuckin’ leave.” I told him sharply.

“I ain’t leavin’ you here with that piece of shit.” Merle nearly hissed at me.

“Then I guess your ass is gonna sit here a while.” I told him, turning around and heading for the door.

“You come back here, Kelsi Jo! You hear me? You get your ass back here.” His voice followed me until the security guard closed the door, cutting him off.

I didn’t say anything to anybody else, continuing through the building and out to the parking lot. I took a deep breath and let it out, feeling useless and overwhelmed. When I looked up at my car, two bikers were leaning against their bikes in the spot next to my car.

Jax and Juice watched me as I approached.

I moved to stop in front of them, crossing my arms over my chest and ducking my head. I knew I was breaking all kinds of old lady codes I probably didn’t even know about. I knew this wasn’t how it was supposed to go down. But I was in unfamiliar territory. I’d never had this problem before.

“You okay?” Juice asked.

I nodded. “He’s a fuckin’ retard. He won’t apologize and he won’t promise to leave, so I told him I won’t get him out. I don’t even know if Daryl knows he’s here.”

“I don’t give a shit about him. I asked if you were okay.” Juice restated.

I nodded again, looking up and out at the parking lot. “I don’t know what to do.”

Juice moved to get off his bike and came to hug me tightly. I hugged him back, closing my eyes and pretending we were a normal couple, who did normal things and neither of us had a fucked up past getting in the way.

“Want me to kick his ass?” Jax asked, lighting a cigarette.

I shrugged, still holding Juice. “Suppose it ain’t much good. He’s still an ass.”

Juice nodded above me. “Yeah he is.”

“I’m gonna go home if that’s okay.” I told Juice.

He nodded, looking down at me. “You gonna be okay?”

I nodded, rubbing the back of my neck. “I’m just gonna bury myself in blankets and try to sleep off this nightmare.”

“I’ll put somebody outside your house, darlin’. Don’t want nothin’ to happen.” Jax spoke up.

“Don’t think it will, but I won’t argue with the Prince.” I smirked, knowing he hated being called that.

He rolled his eyes. “Be glad I like you.” He told me, mounting his bike and firing it up, waiting on Juice.

I leaned up to give the Puerto Rican a kiss on the cheek before going and getting in the Intrepid. They mounted their bikes and took off, out of the parking lot. I followed for a few blocks before I turned off, heading for the house. By the time I got there, Chibs was already sitting on the couch.

“Nice paint job.” He said, referring to the word ‘beaner’ in sloppy, red paint on the front of the house.

I nodded. “Suppose it’s my fault.”

Chibs shook his head. “Nah love. Not your fault. It’s all his.”

I shrugged, feeling exhausted from the day. “I’m just gonna go lay in bed and hope I fall asleep.” I told him, hanging my hoodie and purse on the coatrack by the door.

“Ya want some company?” Chibs asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

I pushed on his shoulder, knocking him forward a little. “Pretty sure Juice wouldn’t be happy with that. But you can come lay on top of the sheets.”

“Not done that since my school boy days.” Chibs said, shaking his head like he wasn’t thrilled with the idea.

“Thanks for watching over me.” I told him, kissing the top of his salt and pepper hair before kicking off my shoes and making my way to the end of the hallway.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is partly where the M rating comes in. Love stuffs and all that. If you don't want to read that, you come skip to the page break. It adds nothing to the plot other than I like to write romance in the middle of the character's life falling apart. I'm just that kind of writer. 
> 
> Enjoy!

At some point, I heard the front door open and close. But I was buried under two or three blankets, staring at the wall without the alarm clock, so I didn’t even know what time it was. I heard the exchanging of voices and the door opened and closed again. The sounds of heavy boots made their way down the hallway before slowly cracking open the bedroom door.

He kicked off his boots and I heard him hang up his cut, but I didn’t focus on the noises. I just wanted to lay here and be numb. He came around to the other side and my brain didn’t register Juice’s face in front of mine until he touched my hip gently.

“Hey.” I said quietly.

“Hey.” He replied.

We laid there in silence for a moment, just watching the other person. “How was work?” I asked, feeling the need to ask.

He shook his head, pulling me closer to him. I was confused by his behavior until his lips pressed gently against mine. The kiss started off slow and careful, before slowly getting more passionate. When his lips pulled away from mine, I was struggling to breathe. His lips gently set kisses against my cheek, my jaw, my chin, my throat…

Juice knew all my spots, everything that turned me on.

But his actions weren’t quick or jerky, like he just wanted to do it. His actions were slow and deliberate. He knew I wanted to just lay here and not feel anything, but he didn’t want me to slip away. He wasn’t trying to turn me on, even though he was. He was trying to let me feel him.

He kissed my neck and flicked his tongue out to just barely catch my skin. I gasped at the sensation, trying to pull him closer to me.

“What’s wrong?” He asked innocently, looking down at me.

“Your pants are still on.” I told him.

He cocked an eyebrow. “That’s the problem?”

I had shed my jeans before I got in bed, not wanting to lay here with them on. So I gently took his hand and guided it between my legs, pulling back my underwear so he could feel my warmth.

His eyes widened a little. “I wasn’t…” He trailed off.

I leaned up and kissed him. “I know.” I told him, moving to his neck and nipping at the spot under his ear, the one that made him hard every time.

He growled in my ear, pushing me back against the bed and kissing me as he slipped a finger into me. I gasped, not having felt the sensation in a few days. He kissed me hard and hungrily, like he’d never be able to get enough. I bucked my hips, trying to get more friction.

“You want more of this?” He asked into my ear, sending a shiver down my back.

I nodded. “Please.” I begged.

He slipped another finger into me, but it still wasn’t enough. I wanted to feel all of Juice’s weight on top of me, all of his muscles pressed against mine, making me moan loud enough the neighbors would complain.

I reached for Juice’s jeans and unzipped them, pulling out the semi-hard muscle. He gave a groan as my fingers touched him and his fingers stilled in me as mine moved against him.

“Just think… you could have a whole other sensation if you removed that denim.” I told him, gently squeezing the muscle in my hand.

He hunched over me, letting out a moan that made my walls tightened around the fingers he hadn’t moved in a moment or two. He ripped his fingers out of me, leaving me with a desperate wanting. He ripped off his pants, boxers and shirt, before crawling on top of me, between my legs and kissing me deeply.

I pulled him closer, wanting to feel his strong muscles against my body. He easily slid off my underwear and gave me a few quick pumps with his fingers before he leaned into me slowly. I moaned when he pushed into me, my walls tightening around the intrusion.

Juice quivered and I knew he’d felt the sensation. “Fuck.” He murmured, looking at me.

I put my hand on the back of his head and pulled his mouth down to mine. I kissed him for a moment before biting his lip. His involuntary reaction was to slam his hips against me, making me moan against his lip. I reached around his shoulders and lightly scratched at his back.

His breath left him in a whoosh. “Keep doing that and I’m gonna fuck you so hard, you can’t walk.”

I dug my nails deeper into his back, moving my hips to work his hard member. “I want it.” I told him breathily.

“Beg for it.” He growled into my ear, making me shiver with pleasure.

“Oh baby, please.” I begged. “Please. I wanna feel every inch of you buried in me.” I pulled hard on his back, knowing he’d have red marks in the morning.

Juice got an almost feral look in his eyes as he slammed into me. His hands gripped my hips tight enough to bruise and he quickly went to work, going in and out of me as fast as he could. It only took twenty minutes before he collapsed next to me on the bed, panting, same as I was.

We were both covered in a sheen of sweat and we’d knocked all the blankets off and pulled the sheets off opposite corners of the bed.

“That was good.” I commented when I could catch my breath.

Juice nodded against the pillow his face was in. “The best.”

I cuddled up next to him and he wrapped his arm around my middle as we fell into a dreamy sleep.

 

* * *

My eyes slowly fluttered open, feeling like someone was watching me. Juice was awake, watching me carefully from under thick eyelashes and black eyebrows.

“You’re pretty when you wake up.” He spoke quietly.

I sighed happily, nuzzling into the hand that was laid under my cheek. “What time is it?”

“Not late enough we have to be anywhere yet.” He told me gently, brushing a strand of hair out of my face.

“Okay.” I said back quietly, watching him.

“I like your eyes when they’re this color.” He told me.

“What color are they?” I asked him.

“Mostly brown, but there’s bits of blue.” He spoke quietly. I remembered how we’d had a full discussion on why mine and his favorite color was brown. He’d told me my eyes change colors depending on my mood.

“What’s blue mean?” I murmured.

He laid there for a moment watching me. “I haven’t figured it out yet. I don’t normally see the blue.”

“Maybe its love.” I spoke gently.

He stayed still, the same as he had for the last ten minutes. “Maybe it is.” He told me, gently moving in to kiss me on the lips.

I moved against him, trying to press closer to him.

My phone dinged, making me jump a little. I didn’t remember turning the ringer up.

“Who’s texting you at this hour?” Juice asked me.

“Excellent question.” I spoke, stretching to get the phone off the bedside table. I opened it and was slightly surprised at the message. “It’s from Daryl. Bailed Merle out. Leavin’ town today. Randy’s Diner at noon.”

“He’s articulate.” Juice said, drawing his eyebrows together as he took the phone from me to read the message.

“On the plus side, they’re leaving.” I spoke.

“Do you want them to leave?” Juice asked, looking at me as he handed the phone back.

I blinked. “What? Of course I do. Have you seen any of the trouble and mayhem they’ve put us through? They haven’t even been here a week.” I told him firmly.

He nodded. “I understand that. I’m just checking.”

“I’m not leaving with them, you know that right?” I asked.

“Yeah, of course.” But his tone lacked any kind of convictions.

“Juice.” I said, shaking his arm a little.

“If you want to go, you can, alright. I’m not gonna hold it against you, you wanting to be with your family.” He told me.

I sat up in bed to get a better look at him. I wanted to yell at him for being so stupid. I wanted to slap him. But I remembered what I’d told Merle yesterday in his cell. Maybe it wasn’t just a Dixon man trait, maybe it was just a Dixon trait to be abusive. I shook my head, violently throwing off the covers. I grabbed a towel and a change of clothes, heading for the bathroom.

“Wait, Kelsi. I didn’t mean it like that.” Juice called after me.

But I’d already closed and locked the bathroom door. If he thought I wanted, _wanted_ to go back to Georgia with my white trash brothers, he could float down this river without a fuckin’ paddle. I turned the shower on hot and stepped in, letting the water warm me from the chilly morning air.

When I finished, I dried and dressed in the bathroom. I hung my towels and unlocked the door. Juice was leaning against the opposite wall, head hung even after I opened the door. I side stepped him, pretending not to see him. I toed on my shoes and reached for my car keys.

“Kelsi, please don’t leave mad.”

His words made me still, my hand almost to the door knob. “I’m not mad.” I told him calmly.

“Sure act mad.” He mumbled like a child who’d gotten in trouble.

“I’m not mad. I’m upset. If you think that I don’t love you and that I just wanna book it out of town, then maybe I shouldn’t be here after all.” I told him, turning the knob and moving out of the house, down to the car and getting in.

Juice stood in the doorway as I fired up the car and made my way through town and into the TM parking lot. I put the car in park and headed for the office.

“Hey Kels.” Kip called.

“Yeah Kip?” I asked. I refused to call him Half Sack.

“You heard from Juice? He’s not pickin’ up his cell.” He told me.

I heard a motorcycle roar from down the road. “He’s pulling into the lot.” I told him, turning around and heading for the office as I heard Juice’s Dyna pass the unlocked gate and head for his designated parking space.

“Juice, we need your help.” Kip called as soon as the engine died.

“It can wait.” Juice called and his boots fell heavy on the concrete behind me.

I was curious, but I just pushed open the door for the office to find Opie sitting in my chair. “Comfortable?”

“Very.” He told me, taking a bite out of the apple in his hand.

“Kelsi, wait.” Juice spoke.

“Kip needs your help.” I told him, moving to the filing cabinet.

I could feel Juice’s body behind me as his arm came around my shoulder, showing me the little folded paper crane in his hand. My heart ached, because I knew out of everything, the crane wouldn’t fix this thing. “Folded paper can’t fix this.” I murmured gently, pulling a file out to look busy.

“Kelsi… tell me what I can do.” Juice said.

“You know what you can do?” I asked, turning on him. I saw his eyes flicker over me and he’d noticed the change in the conversation. He wasn’t going to come out on top of this one in good standing and he already knew it. “You can go out, build yourself a time machine and use it to go back in time about one hour ago. Because an hour ago, we were layin’ in bed, smilin’ and havin’ a good time. We weren’t fightin’ ‘bout whether I fuckin’ loved you or not.”

Juice ducked his head. “I never… I never said that.”

I scoffed, turning away from him. “You fuckin’ didn’t have to. We been together long enough, I thought you knew that.” I knew Opie was watching our encounter, but I’d had no time to warn him, and he was too deep in now; he’d have to ride it out with us.

“Kelsi… I’m sorry.” Juice spoke from behind me.

“Me to. I’m sorry that something I’ve done in the last week gave you the unholy impression that I’d rather ditch town without giving you a second thought. I’m sorry that after all this time and energy you’ve put into making me a better person then I was when you first met me on that stupid fucking bed, feels completely wasted since my family came back into town. I’m sorry.” I told him, feeling thankful that I wasn’t looking at him, because my eyes started to tear up. “Just go to work, Juice.”

I could feel the energy in the room shift. I could hear him drag his boots across the carpet in the office and the lock slide out of place as he opened the door leading into the shop. I listened as he gently closed the door, as to make as little disturbance as possible.

I leaned over the filing cabinet, feeling like I was going to collapse. My world seemed like it was crashing around on me, into little pieces and I couldn’t breathe.

Suddenly, there were strong arms pulling me away from the cold metal and into a leather vest.

“How could he think I don’t love him? Opie, what’d I do? What’d I do wrong?” I asked as the tears fell and landed haphazardly on his leather cut and cotton t-shirt.

“It’s not you. He just don’t know how to handle this. You didn’t do anything.” He told me, pulling me closer.

“I must… I musta done something. I don’t know what it was, Opie, I swear.” I mumbled against him.

“It’s okay. We’ll figure it out.” He told me, rubbing circles on my back.

It took a few minutes, but I’d stopped crying. I pulled away from him gently, wiping the stray water off my eyes. “I’m sorry I cried on you.”

Opie shook his head. “Don’t be sorry. We’ll figure it out.” He told me, putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

“Thank you.” I told him, squeezing his hand. I coughed, trying to clear my throat. “So, we should work.” I told him with a nod.

He nodded once and headed out into the shop.

I nodded again to myself and moved to the desk, slowly getting into the groove of working.


	8. Chapter 8

About 11:30, there was a knock on the door from the shop. “Come in.” I called, wondering who it was, knocking on the shop door. The guys normally came and went as they pleased.

Juice stepped forward, pushing the door closed behind him. “I just wanted to let you know it’s 11:30.” He spoke quietly.

I nodded, glancing at the clock. “Thank you.”

“I didn’t know when you wanted us to go over.” He commented.

“I’ll be leaving shortly.” I told him, hoping he’d caught the fact I said ‘I’ and not ‘us’.

“With all due respect, I’ve been protecting you from assholes since we got together. I’m not going to stop now because you’re upset.” Juice’s words came easily and with confidence I’d rarely heard.

I paused, slowly looking up at him. I didn’t know what changed, but it had. He didn’t hang his head like he was ashamed, he stood tall and I could _feel_ how he was backing the words he spoke. It took me a moment, but I nodded. “Thank you.” I said quietly. “If you’d be okay with giving me another ten minutes to finish this project, I’d appreciate the ride over.”

Juice nodded. “Ten minutes.” He said like a confirmation, moving back into the shop and closing the door again.

I watched him leave and wondered what changed. Something obviously had. He seemed more like the Juice I’d first met who wanted to watch the Mummy and told me how his stepdad had hurt him. For ten minutes, instead of working, I sat wondering what had made such a drastic change in three and a half hours.

He came back in exactly ten minutes later. “Are you ready?” He asked politely.

I nodded, making sure to lock my purse in the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet since I wouldn’t be needing it at the diner. I knew that even though Randy’s was the cheapest sit down place in town, Merle was too stingy to order more than coffee and maybe a piece of pie; especially after Daryl had to bail him out.

“What changed?” I asked quietly, standing from the desk and pushing the chair back in. I couldn’t walk into that diner, ready to fend off my brothers in their last attempt to get me to go with them if I didn’t know I could count on Juice.

He watched me for a moment and I saw a flicker of the ashamed man he’d been when he’d tried to hand me the paper crane he’d made just for me. “You blamed yourself. Opie told me you thought you’d done something that made me question your love.” He shook his head, coming closer to me and I could see the sincerity in his eyes. “You didn’t do anything. I’m not questioning your love for me. Even when you’re pissed and flaming angry, I know you love me. I just felt like I was holding you back when they came into town and I didn’t want that. If you wanted to leave, I couldn’t look at you and tell you that you had to stay. I couldn’t be another Danny.”

I watched him intently for a moment. “I don’t want to leave.” I told him firmly.

“Then we won’t talk about it anymore.” He told me quietly, taking my hand in his and I relished the feeling of his strong fingers wrapped around mine.

I nodded. “Okay.”

He nodded too, giving me a little smile as he squeezed my hand before gently pulling me to the door and holding it open for me.

There was a kind of calm that washed over me on the drive over to the diner and I’d appreciated the kind of strength it brought me. But the moment Juice killed the ignition, anxiety and fear flooded me, enough I felt like it could knock me over.

“I don’t… I don’t think I can do this.” I told Juice.

He turned back to me, trying to read my face. “You want them to leave you alone right?”

I nodded just barely.

“Okay. That doesn’t mean you’ll never see them again. It doesn’t mean goodbye forever. It means you have to live your own life and you can’t do that when they’re staring you down.” Juice told me sternly. “I’m not telling you to do this one way or another. I’m not here for that. I’m here to cover your back, whatever choice you decide. Because I love you and care about you. And I’m never going to let anybody push you around again.” He told me, gently running his thumb over my cheek.

I smiled, nuzzling into his hand. “You’re too good for me, Ortiz.” I told him quietly.

“Well, Dixon, you’re not too bad to me either.” He told me with a smile.

“Ya’ll comin’ in or ya gonna make out in the parkin’ lot all day?”

I sighed at the sound of my barely older twin brother. When I turned to look, he had already let the door swing closed behind him and he slid into the booth next to Merle.

“C’mon.” I said, taking a deep breath and letting it out before I pushed forward, pulling open the front door to the diner.

“Hi. A table or a booth?” The overenthusiastic waitress asked us.

“We’re uh… here for family.” I said, gesturing to Merle and Daryl.

“Okay, is there anything I can get you two to drink?” She asked sweetly.

“Two coffees please.” Juice spoke up for both of us and I nodded, confirming the order.

“Ya even let him order for ya? What a good little doggy.” Merle said with a snarl to his lip. Daryl glared hard at our oldest brother.

Juice let me slide in first and I figured this was a way to save us from fighting, the same way Daryl was on the outside across from us. Merle and I were the first ones in the bunch who would jump up and try to start something. Keeping us separated and less likely to injure the other was probably the best idea my twin had come up with.

“Daryl says you’re leaving.” I said, trying to clearly enunciate my words so they didn’t slip and slur together like Merle’s always did.

“Thanks.” Juice said kindly as the waitress set down our coffees.

“Apparently Darylina here thinks it’s best to leave you with the beaner.” Merle spat the words like they were on fire in his mouth.

“He’s Puerto Rican.” Daryl spoke quietly, pointlessly stirring his coffee.

“Excuse me?” Merle asked.

“He’s not Mexican. He’s Puerto Rican. Ain’t no beaner.” Daryl spoke, barely louder than he had before, giving a glance and a slim nod to my beau.

Juice nodded back and I wondered if he actually understood the huge gesture Daryl had just done. He’d stood up for Juice against Merle; he’d defended him when Merle expected him to join in on the name calling.

Merle turned in his seat to look at Daryl and I glanced at Juice, trying to see if the remark even registered to him.

“Don’t go defendin’ him now. He’s sleepin’ with yer sister. Ya want little beaner babies runnin’ ‘round, callin’ him papa?” Merle spoke with the most venom he could manage.

Daryl and I both recoiled from the sharpness of his words, and I knew we both felt cut from them. But Daryl recovered quicker than I did.

“Ain’t none of my damn business who she’s sleepin’ with, same as it ain’t yers. We ain’t even here to talk ‘bout it neither.” Daryl said, giving Merle a firm look.

Merle looked taken back, but apparently chose not to argue about it. Although, the look on his face told everyone at the table he was clearly not happy with the arrangement.

“We’re leavin’.” Daryl spoke up again, directing his words to me, with a glance to Juice. “We just wanted to say it to yer face. We ain’t here to cause trouble.”

“Says you.” Merle said with a glance out the window.

Daryl elbow Merle sharply. “Ain’t here for trouble.” He almost growled.

“You can come back anytime you want. All ya gotta do is call.” I spoke, looking them both in the eyes.

“Yeah, and see you hangin’ off that beaner’s dick.” Merle said with a sharp shake of the head.

Daryl worked his jaw at me, silently telling me he was going to kill our brother and bury him so we wouldn’t have this problem anymore.

“And you ain’t gon’ say nothin’? Just sit there like a pussy ass bitch?” Merle snarled.

Juice looked at ease, despite the tension I could feel running through his arm across my shoulder. “I am literally anything your sister wants me to be. If that means occasionally being the bitch,” Juice slightly inclined his head. “Then I’m the bitch.”

“Yeah, bet you like it up the ass too.” Merle quipped, hoping to injure Juice’s ego.

I grinned and ducked my head a little, knowing the comment had absolutely no effect on the man beside me. Juice gave Merle a little smirk. “Sometimes. Why? You offerin’?”

Merle’s eyes glowed with fire and he tried to stand up, but the table, bolted to the wall and floor, wouldn’t let him. “Say that one more time and I’ll skin you alive.”

Juice wiggled his eyebrows. I knew without a doubt he was making this so much worse. But Daryl and I shared a smirk and I knew it was better than fighting.

“Maybe that’d be fun too.” Juice said, raking his eyes up and down my older brother’s body.

Merle thrashed, trying to get the table and Daryl to move.

I covered my mouth to stifle a giggle. “Ya’ll should go before we get the cops called.” I commented, glancing at how the waitress watched us with worried eyes.

Merle never took his eyes off Juice, even as Daryl slid out, roughly grabbed his arm and reached for his wallet.

“I got it. Don’t worry about it.” Juice said, standing and pulling a fifty from his wallet, and handing it to our waitress, despite the fact we’d only ordered four coffees for the table.

Merle could’ve said any rude word he’d wanted, but I think he was kind of scarred about Juice’s reaction to his comment about ‘taking it up the ass’, which I knew for a fact Juice had never done. My oldest brother refused to say another word to me, stalking over to his motorcycle and lighting a cigarette, never even glancing at me.

It hurt a little bit, but I knew Merle. I knew he cared, because I was family, but Juice had severely wounded his ego and it wouldn’t be repaired for quite some time.

Daryl glanced between Merle and me, a small sigh letting from his lips. “Ya done it now.”

I nodded. “I sure know how to pick ‘em.” I spoke quietly, as Juice hung back to light a cigarette and let us have a moment.

Daryl reached for his pack and I took one from his extended hand. “He pick ya up?” Daryl asked, lighting a cigarette. I paused, almost not sure what he was talking about. Apparently Daryl saw my look. “Does he pick ya up and pin ya to the wall when he kisses ya?”

A slow smile broke out on my face as I shook my head at Daryl. “If he ain’t strong enough to pick ya up and pin ya to the wall, you got a girlfriend.” I nodded, remembering the words he’d told me in my first year of high school. “You told me that when I was worried about my weight in Freshman year.”

“If the bastard ain’t strong enough to pick ya up and pin ya to the wall, regardless, ya got a girlfriend.” He repeated, blowing out a lungful of smoke.

“Yeah… Yeah he does.” I said with a little smile.

Daryl nodded, like he approved. “Know you don’t like it much… me goin’ back. But he ain’t got nobody else. We don’t do good alone.” He told me, gesturing between the two of us as the smoke dangled from the edge of his mouth.

I nodded. I knew it better than anybody. Dixons weren’t meant to be alone in life, and if we didn’t have family, we had to make some. “Call… or something. Write me a fuckin’ letter sayin’ ‘I got home alive.’ Just… don’t forget about me.”

Daryl’s eyes darkened. “Couldn’t forget ya, Kelsi Jo. You been my fuckin’ shadow, seven minutes behind my whole life.”

I nodded. “You best get your asshole of a brother on the road. He don’t care much for pansy shit like this.”

Daryl nodded, knowing the fact. “He’ll miss ya too. Just too chicken shit to say it.” He spoke, turning around and mounting his bike before making it roar to life. He and Merle took off down the road and I stood there watching them until they disappeared into the blur of traffic.

Juice’s hand set on my shoulder and I looked back at him. “You’re a good person.” He told me.

I shrugged. “Dixon’s don’t survive well alone. He never woulda let Merle ride off without him, knowin’ I got you.”

“Well at least you got me.” Juice said, wrapping his arms around my middle and hugging me from behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! Did you like it? Did you hate it? I'll never know if you don't tell me one way or the other. :)


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